Dear reader,
My newsletter schedule has diverged from its tracks. Joe and I are preparing for our move - sorting things, packing things, thinking about what things we need and what we don’t. There are too many THINGS.
But I don’t want to write about things today. I want to write about purposeful changes. About the life we hope to create and the joy and pain of the choices we must make to do so.
Within our first six months of dating, due to a push from external factors we could call God or Universe, Joe and I were already living together. We sat down together one day and we reflected on our values. We each wrote our individual lists - what do we value most? Then we compared and combined.
What do we value most - together?
Relationships - family, friends, and community (of humans and nonhumans alike)
Health - an active lifestyle, time outside, and home cooked meals
Authenticity - being our truest selves
Spiritual humility - knowing we are but a speck & surrendering to what is greater
Play - doing things for the joy of it, not the purpose of it
We have been together for three years. We are now married. And we have tried hard to create a life in accordance with our values, but in some ways have failed. By taking on too much - too many jobs, too long commutes, too many responsibilities - we haven’t had time or energy to tend thoroughly to our relationships, our health, or our spirituality. Our “play” is a numbed out Netflix binge. Joe kicked a soccer ball last week and threw out his back. I have stress acne blooming on my face like algae. We’re lucky if we see each other for more than an hour before bed.
We have known for a while that something had to give.
This Friday, we move to Colorado where we have made a pact to both only work one job. This is a hard decision for us. Joe’s already dreaming of soccer fields, already missing coaching. One of my yoga students told me, “I hope you continue teaching there. You’re one of my favorite teachers.”
We have skills and passions to serve our communities, but cannot make a sustainable living on them. Turning them into side hustles hurts us. In order to have a more balanced, healthier, and happier life, we must give up things we love. We are sad. We are relieved. We are both at the same time.
There are more feelings attached to moving, of course.
The deep pain of leaving family and friends. We try to let it take up space when it arrives. At first, my mind convinces me everyone I love is dying; that I’ll never see them again. Now I think instead of the hikes we will take when our loved ones visit, of the picnics we will have beside lakes.
What do you value most, reader?
Until next time,
With love,
Anna
IG: aadami_writing
Your values are inspiring and will see you through this move; I'm sure of it even if you, understandably, aren't as sure. My values are: family, health, and tenacity in my endeavors. I wish you and Joe good luck in Colorado.
I hope you get the quieter life that you are looking for, and good luck with the move. I've moved more times than I care to remember, usually from one country to another, and it never gets easy. But so many good things can flow from a change of place.