What are you willing to fail at publicly?
on accidental entrepreneurship, rejection sensitivity, and guiding light
Dear reader,
I am officially launching my business, and I think instead I’d rather dig a hole, crawl inside, cover myself with leaves to render myself invisible, and through the tiniest sliver of visibility, watch the sky.
Putting myself out there in this new way is vulnerable.
Almost to the point of pain. Entrepreneurship magnifies my tenderest parts — rejection sensitivity dysphoria, fear and doubt. Is this right for me? For my family? For my mental health and financial stability? For my writing? What if I fail? Am I willing to be seen?
I talked to Blake Kimzey from Writing Workshops, who was hugely kind and generous with his time. He said, “find what you’re most willing to fail at publicly and go all in.”
I’ve never been good at failure.
I’m a perfectionist to a fault. I wonder what I’m afraid will happen if I fail? Heat creeps up my cheeks at even the thought. Shame lives here.
But then - vulnerability has again and again enriched my life.
Starting this newsletter terrified me, but has become a joy and solace. Dating my now husband, showing my morning breath, panic attacks, and all, felt risky and embarrassing. By doing so anyway, I settled into the safety of being loved authentically as I am. Starting to teach yoga, too, was vulnerable. Hello imposter syndrome. Hello self doubt. Now, teaching has brought me deeper into my practice and my community.
Shrouded in the dark of all my fear is the teeniest candle lit with hope.
Hope that I may create spaces for people to express their most authentic selves. That I may support writers through their own versions of doubt and back to the giving wellspring of their intuition. That through my work, more voices step out of darkness and into their light. Because if ever we have needed the soul-affirming gift of literature and art, it is now. It is always. That I am confident in.
Warmed by that light, here are my announcements:
Tomorrow morning I host the first Creative Common Room - a weekly ritual, a loving community, and a sacred space for inspiration and soft accountability.
My roster is now open for 1:1 Writing Coaching. This offering is a candle for writers stuck in their darkness.
I’m writing a weekly blog on creativity, mindfulness and embodiment geared towards writers.
Fear is a threshold. On the other side could be joy, love, community. But first, there is our trembling body.
As I’ve started teaching power yoga classes again, I’ve realized strength is practiced when we feel our weakest. When our legs are wobbly and our arms are aching. When we fall. We don’t get stronger by staying in our comfort zone.
How are you, reader?
What fear is holding you back? What are you most willing to fail at publicly?
With love,
Until next time,
A
Connect with me elsewhere!
Instagram: aadami_writing
Congrats!!! I also just launched into the same waters. I tell people its anxiety meets excitement every day. I hope you give yourself tenderness and grace for the journey ahead and remember we’ll be here cheering you no matter what happens.
Loved this post. It's such a great question: "What am I/are we willing to fail at publicly?" Even framing the question is scary. Thank you, Anna, and I look forward to dropping into your Creative Common Room in the not-too-distant future!